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How To Deal With Death; Living A Lifetime Of Freedom in Just Ten Days!
Everyone experiences loss. No one escapes this life unhurt by its cruelty and the discomfort and devastation it can lead to. Though loss is universal in nature, every individual will experience loss differently. For some it may be through the death of a child or spouse. Others will face a brake up of their marriage or family or a chronic sickness such as cancer or the loss of their job that had provided for their family. Loss might come by the loss of your reputation, betrayal by a good friend or rejection by a family member. Regardless of how loss comes, when something is taken from us that we cherish and hold dear, the pain and heart ache that accompanies our loss is unavoidable and very often life changing.
Having gone through a couple of significant losses in my own life, I know how debilitating loss can be. As I have matured in life and have grown in my knowledge and understanding of my Heavenly father the realization that pain, heartache and that all my losses can be used by God to bring not only His healing but also my growing in Him. He has expanded the very essence of who I am. Not so I'll become prideful of who I am for having overcome so much, imagine the sadness, if that were all I had to show for the losses in my life. God does more than that, He expands our soul, grows, and strengthens us, in the midst of our losses, its so He will show us a life that is larger than ourself; demonstrating that just because our world is fallen and full of sin and death, He is still desiring to accomplish His will and His perfect plan for each of us.
Romans 8:28:
“We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.”
Many times when people are in the depth of their agony due to their loss, their attitude is to deny their loss, to the point of anger at someone relaying the message in His Word with them, believing it wrong, insensitive or too preachy. Learning to know when it is the best time for these sort of things is significant, withholding the hope that comes from the promises of our Heavenly father shows a great absence of compassion and love, for nothing apart from God’s power and His love can set an individual free to get past and flourish after a fatal loss.
It is that incapacity to get moving with your life that is the topic of what I am penning. There would not be any need to talk about getting beyond our loss if it didn’t have such superb force to just keep us where we are, almost frozen in time, living life only in the past, ignoring what is happening today or plans for the future as if it doesn't matter.
There is of course, a place and a time to mourn. Lacking the willingness to address your pain and permitting yourself to feel the agony and sorrow of it, will result in all sorts of additional physical and emotional issues latter on down the road. Loss needs you to grieve which is healthy, bringing healing to your pain takes time. But the time is not designed to last forever. Remembering those memories you cherish is by all means vital. Recollecting very special or joyful times in your life are good and healthy. Even sadness from time to time as you are feeling the emptiness or face the changes loss has left you with, is good and acceptable but a lifetime of grieving isn't!
Lamentations 3, the verse says there is a time and a season for every matter or purpose under heaven, including mourning:
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.
If we choose to stay in a constant place of hurt and pain, we are going to miss all the best things God has planned for us in this life, that may be a tremendous loss, one beyond your comprehension. Our loving God revels in healing and restoration for each individual who calls on Him. He does not want us to go through this life wounded and crippled in our spirit or our body as a consequence of the pain in our life we have endured. He desires to heal us to restore each of us and to bring glory to Himself. He's your God of a new start in life, never not working in people’s lives, revealing His awesome power and His love to a dying world.
Isaiah 43 : 18-19 ( NASB )
Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I'll do something new. Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?
He wants us to join Him in the new things He is accomplishing, but we can not if we've shut our self off from what He offers, then we are destined to spend the rest of our lives in self-pity and despair.
One of the most negative decisions somebody can make after the loss of a friend or family member particularly that of a partner of a child or perhaps after a marriage break up - is that they will never love again. In their mind it would be to open themselves up to that same devastating pain again and who in their right mind would do that? But to make a choice like that is to make sure that one is very likely to miss more of the great things God still has planned for them.
A Grace Disguised, a wonderful book; writer Gerald Sittser, who lost not only his wife but also his mother and a daughter in an auto accident talks about this very issue.
“The risk of further loss, therefore, poses a dilemma. The problem of choosing to love again is that the choice to love means living under the constant threat of further loss. But the problem of choosing not to love is that the choice to turn from love means imperiling the soul, for the soul thrives in an environment of love. Soul-full people love; soul-less people do not. If people want their soul to grow through loss, whatever the loss is, they must eventually decide to love even more deeply than they did before. They must respond to the loss by embracing love with renewed energy and commitment.”
After a loss it is important to begin expanding our hearts once again which can be a confusing part of the healing God gives us. We can refuse His healing if we choose and withdraw to protect ourselves, leading to a lessened soul and a very empty and meaningless way to finish living life. It would be easy to walk away from love because the risk of loss is simply too great. Yes, most likely another loss could happen yet God's love and His power is even more certain to heal you. It takes courage to live again and it takes His power to love continuously. With The Lord God, it means a new start and a reason to move on!
To find out more about having a relationship with God and discovering His love that will that will lead you to a life of freedom click on: How To Deal With Death
To Learn More Click On: How To Deal With Death
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